I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
