I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
