If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
