worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
