Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
