Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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