i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.