Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
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at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
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Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.