Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother