I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run