i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize