Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
