Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
