so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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