Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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