i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
