be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So. Much. Porn.
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