I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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