My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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