Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
