Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just had sex on a roof
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
