I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
