Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
accomplished twins. life is a go
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
