My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
