and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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