I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
