Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
