And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
