I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
