He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Are my feet made of real feet?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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