i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My feet surprised me
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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