This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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