Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
