You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
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