How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
