Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Sober January is a disaster.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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