the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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