Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
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