Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Randomize
