I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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