I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize