Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
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You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
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I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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