I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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