To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
