just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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