I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
