oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
