Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
