i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
