with your own penis?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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