Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
