Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
