I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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