"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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