All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
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when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
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I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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