Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
