i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize