I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
