There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My penis needs a shock collar
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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