If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i think my cat just said my name.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
