you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
