that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
